


BREATHE ME

by Ainescribe



Category: Undertale (Video Game), underswap
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Attempted Suicide, Depression, F/M, Gen, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Papyrus Is Trying, Phone Calls, Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), depressed reader, inspired by an omeleto video, papyrus is soft, soft papyrus, suicide helplines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:35:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29330925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ainescribe/pseuds/Ainescribe
Summary: Papyrus decides to volunteer at a call center.He gets more than he bargained for...(ONESHOT)
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Underswap Papyrus X Reader
Kudos: 41





	BREATHE ME

* * *

**“ _be my friend, hold me  
wrap me up, enfold me  
i am small and needy  
warm me up and breathe me._ ”**

―SIA

* * *

Papyrus didn’t really know why he agreed to this idea.

Asgore and Undyne were pretty insistent on it and considering the two were his best friends…so sure? Why not? Starting the voluntary suicide helpline around Ebott was a pretty good move the more he mulled over about it. Monsters and humans needed the extra help and he was obviously going to be the first chosen candidate since…well…he actually owed Undyne and Asgore for some shit.

He had a sneaking suspicion it was all an elaborate setup, but he didn’t think about it too much.

They gave him the phone he needed to use and when he told Sans, his brother was…a little cautious about the idea. He told Papyrus that handling something as sensitive as this was going to be hard and if things got ugly, he needed to talk to someone. Papyrus told him he would and the topic was dropped. He knew Sans was just looking out for him and he knew this job wasn’t going to be all sunshine and rainbows. He didn't regret telling his brother about his decision.

"Seriously." he had said while washing the dishes. Papyrus leaned over the counter, sneaking in a spider donut. Sans caught him in the act though, blue eyelights twinkling with slight amusement before they turned serious again. "It's not something that you can just talk you way out of. hell...you have to TALK, Papyrus and you're stupidly anxious when it comes to stuff like this.

"

"Point there...but I should be okay after a few calls..." he said, cracking a smile. Sans muttered something under his breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't really catch that."

"Nothing." He replied quickly, a nervous smile following the answer. "Just...why did the phone need to wear glasses?"

"No..."

"Come on! Ask why!"

"No fucking way!"

"Because..."

"Sans, stop..."

"It lost it's _contacts_..."

"Sans-"

"Okay, here's another one." Oh stars, they weren't going to stop were they?

Judging by the blinding grin his brother wore...

No...

"What did the bacteria use to call his best buddy?"

"Ugggghhh."

"A _cell_ phone."

Laughter. papyrus fought the urge to jump out of the window to escape this bullshit and the urge to smile. Sans grinned. Then stopped like he just figured something out. "Papyrus...the human iphone...you saw the older cameras, right? And the new ones?"

"Yes?"

"The camera went through mitosis."

"Sans..."

"And it's a _cell_ phone-"

"Oh my god-"

The reality never really hit him until weeks later. He had forgotten about the phone after a while. He hadn’t received any calls. He doubted he was going to get any. The campaign wasn’t as widespread in spite of the people supporting it were notable figureheads.

“ _H-hello?_ ”

But now…

Papyrus found his hands shaking slightly when the other end of the line peaked and he winced when your voice that spoke into his metaphorical ears turned out louder than expected. “Sorry, can you speak a little softer. There’s a lot of static.” He asked, hoping he didn’t come across as rude or callous.

He could just make out an ‘okay’ and he sighed, feeling a little lightheaded. Stars, this…this was actually happening. A few moments passed and the white noise died down. On the other end, you spoke spoke up again, words now clearer though there was still what seemed to be the wind howling in the background. Where you outside?

“ _Can you hear me better now?_ ”

Papyrus nodded. “Yeah I can.” The line went silent again and he decided to speak up once more. He didn’t want to bear any awkward silence.

And as crazy as it sounds, he had a job to do.

“How are you today?” He blurted out, feeling his nerves get the better of him. He heaved out a breath, a jumbled sentence consisting mostly of stutters following it. Then he tried to stop himself from hammering his skull on the wall at how stupid the question was. You didn’t reply for a moment but when you did, he didn’t blame you for sounding incredulous.

“ _How am I…?_ ” you repeated. “ _I’m…I guess I could be doing better_.”

“Oh…right…that was a stupid question…” He said, tapping his phalanges against his femur. “That being said…uh, are you feeling depressed or-” He paused. “Well, you’re calling me now, so…yes?”

“ _Yeah_ …”

Papyrus nodded slightly, trying to pick a few more words together. It was just a single word but he had an aching feeling this wasn’t something he could take lightly. He needed to do better than this…

“Can you tell me where you are right now?” he asked. There was a shuffle, like you were adjusting your hold on the phone. Then you spoke again.

“ _Ebott Bridge_.” You replied. He could hear a strained note in your voice. “ _I…I’m about to jump_.”

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck-

Papyrus felt his breath catch in his ribs and he tried to calm himself down. This went dark faster than he expected. Now was not the time to panic. “Can you step away from the railings?” he asked. “Nice and slow?” He tried to keep his voice in level but there was still a hint of panic in it. His first call and they were about to take the jump. He needed to think. What else should he say? Undyne never gave him a manual to refer to for situations like this…

You laughed bitterly. Papyrus’ expression fell. “ _I…I can’t…I…_ ” you voice was breaking again. “ _I’m terrified, you know that. You know, they say the river is really cold around this time of the year…and if the fall is not going to kill me, the water is. I don’t t-think I could…_ ”

“That…” he winced. He needed to phrase this another way. “Why are you there? Did…did something happen to you?”

Silence. Something clattered on the other end of the line and his Soul sank. “Hey! Hey, are you okay?” he asked, hoping, hoping you didn’t try anything. The line picked up again.

“ _Sorry…I’m fine…_ ” you said. Papyrus sighed in relief. “ _And no…I don’t feel comfortable talking about it._ ”

“I understand.” He replied. He just needed to keep you talking and maybe he could convince you not to jump. “I…just want to try helping you…”

Silence.

“ _You sure about that?_ ” You asked. Papyrus froze.

About what? Of course he wanted to help-

“I…I’m pretty sure.” He said.

“ _Hearing my sob story won’t cut it. You’re just going to say what a lot of people have said already. ‘You’ll be okay’, ‘you hang in there, ‘you’re not alone’’. It gets a little tedious listening to it over and over again._ ” You mused.

“I see…I…really don’t know what to say about that.” He responded, feeling his magic buzz in growing panic. He could here you hum and sigh.

“ _They all do, so hey you’re not alone!_ ”

Awkward silent descended like a thick blanket.

…

…

“So uh…you have any hobbies?” He asked. Smooth, he wanted to scream to himself, what kind of question was that?

You started laughing again, this time with a mix of disbelief and amusement. “ _Seriously? My hobbies?! What is this, an interview?_ ” He couldn’t reply. The words were lodged in his mouth and he couldn’t say them out loud. He heard you mumble something under your breath. “ _Sorry…I was being pretty insensitive. I’m just…_ ”

“Nah, it’s okay.” He assured quickly. “But my question still stands.”

“ _Do you have any hobbies?_ ” you said instead. Papyrus blinked, slightly shocked at the sudden turn in the conversation. He scratched the back of his skull unsure on how to answer this. “ _I know, I shouldn’t have turned the question around…I just…I don’t even know you so…_ ”

“I think that’s the point in this whole thing.” He stated, a smile touching his teeth. ‘But uh…I like to write. I’m also into coding and programming. And don’t laugh, but I write fanfiction.” You laughed again; it was more genuine this time. He felt a little hopeful. Maybe things might turn out a little better.

“ _Sorry_.” You mumbled. He barely heard you and he found himself frowning.

“You apologize a lot.” He pointed out. “You don’t have to feel sorry about everything, you know?” You hummed.

“ _I guess…_ ” you chuckled. “ _I regret a lot of things._ ” You gave him your hobbies and he nodded in appreciation. “ _I know…they are pretty generic…_ ” you added and another mirthless chuckle was added into it. He noticed the sudden squeak at the end of it; something in his soul clenched unpleasantly. This…oh stars, this was a lot to handle. He didn’t know if he could do this.

“You’re new to this aren’t you?” you asked. Papyrus flinched.

“That obvious?” he winced. You laughed again.

“ _You’re not the first one I’ve called_.” You replied. “ _I’ve done this thrice already_.”

Papyrus…didn’t find that funny.

“And how did they go?”

“ _They managed to convince me_.” Was the short answer. You sounded blank, empty when you said that. “ _That’s all they’ve managed to do you know. Convince me to not kill myself…but they never helped me. They barely helped me work out my issues and you know what? This feeling is still not gone and whenever I end those calls I just realize that I’m just as alone as I used to be._ ”

He didn’t know what to say to that. He really didn’t know what to say to that.

“I…look I’m…I have no clue how to…I…” he couldn’t speak again. It hurt, his soul hurt, his hands were shaky and he felt his magic buzz and collect around his sockets. “I don’t know how to…”

“ _You can’t help me?_ ” you asked silently. He breathed in, his breath shuddering uncomfortably against his ribcage.

“Yes.” Was his mute reply. He sounded small and he felt small.

“ _I’m not surprised._ ” Was you clipped reply. “ _Why did you even take this job? If you knew it was going to be this hard? Did you even know it was going to be this hard?_ ” You sounded a little hysterical. Papyrus slumped, clenching his bony hands while grinding his teeth down nervously.

“I…don’t know…” he mumbled. “I just want to help…I…”

“ _Well that’s how it always feels you know. You barely even know me and here you are hoping you can help. Guess what? You don’t know my struggles, you probably never went through the same thing, you probably don’t understand and you’re probably going to say the same things they all say._ ” Your voice was raising with every syllable. “ _And I’m am so sick of listening to people telling me I still have something worth living for when it’s staring at me right in the fucking face that I DON’T. I DON’T._ ”

“But…”

“But what? You going to tell me I do? You don’t even know my name.” You breathed in. He could hear your voice cracking and shaking. “Every time I wake up I can’t bring myself to do things I used to love. I…everything is pointless.” He heard the sniffing and he knew you were crying.

His Soul squeezed again.

Painfully.

“Why…why did you call?” he asked softly. You fell silent, your sobs the only thing that assured him you were still alive. You inhaled a few times, sniffing and ceasing any whimpers.

“ _So…you know how…those mystery boxes in games work?_ ” you asked. “ _You never know what you’ll get? I guess…I wanted someone to help me. To stop me from doing this. I wanted to know, not be TOLD that I still matter. I tried asking my friends and family for help and they just said it was a phase. They said I’ll pick up again. I didn’t. I want help but-_ ” You were crying again. “ _I just want someone to care again_.”

Papyrus looked forward, ogling the bare walls of his room. “I’m really sorry…” he said, feeling his own voice crack. His chest hurt, his head was spinning and his magic was going haywire from the panic and grief. “I just…you’re right I don’t know how to handle this situation and I don’t know how to.” He couldn’t hold it back any more.

The first tear fell.

Then the next.

And the next.

…

He was bawling.

Stars, he hoped Sans wouldn’t barge in…

“I thought I could help but it’s just so hard and…it’s something…I’m terrified you’re going to hang up and kill yourself and I’ll keep living on knowing I could do nothing to prevent that.” He broke down. “And…and…”

“ _I…_ ” you spoke up. He stopped. “ _I…I’m sorry I just…I need to go I need to…_ ”

The panic set in fast. Papyrus flinched, rising to his feet fast and stumbling forward. “Wait-” he cut in frantically.

_“…oh my god…_ ” you spoke up again. His words were caught. He froze. You sounded…

You sounded like you were at your breaking point.

“ _Oh my god I’m going to die…_ ” You whimpered. “ _What’s…what’s going to happen to me after this? What will my family say? I don’t…I don’t want to die…I don’t want to die but…everything just hurts and I can’t keep living on like this. I don’t want to die…_ ”

He tried to stay calm.

Collect his thoughts.

He could do this…

He could…

Papyrus couldn’t.

Maybe he was being a little naïve. He knew people had it hard; he went through it himself. There was a difference though. He had Sans, Undyne, Alphys, Asgore. He had friends and family backing him up while he nearly smoked himself dry of cigarettes and passed out on the couch. He never contemplated on dusting. You were though, right now, at this very moment.

It scared him.

He didn’t want you to die either.

“Ebott Bridge…” he stated. You couldn’t reply. “Just…stay still, okay?” he asked. “Please?”

“I _…I don’t know…I…need to go…I need to get this over with…_ ”

“ _Please?_ ” he insisted. “Just...for a minute. “Can you wait a minute? Just a minute?”

Silence.

Please say yes, please say yes, pleasesayyesplease-

“Okay…”

He sighed in relief and gathered his magic, folding space, travelling through. Papyrus shortcutted to Ebott bridge, feeling the drop in his reserves and endurance but spotted you right away. You were the only one on the ledge despite the heavy traffic. To most passer byes, you were probably just admiring the view on the river. A lot of people did that here, couples, nature enthusiasts, joggers.

Papyrus knew better.

He ran over to you (and stars, he never really thought he would go THAT far), skidding to a halt. He had half a mind to grab you by the shoulder and pull you off the ledge with his blue magic. He decided against it.

Instead, he muttered a small ‘hey’ and heaved his bones onto the ledge next to you. You flinched, glancing over at him while he cut the call. “Okay…” he began awkwardly. “Let’s talk face to face. Hi, I’m Papyrus and I write fanfiction and set kitchens on fire…”

You just stared. Barely blinking.

Just stared.

…

He would have been lying through his feet if he said he wasn’t uncomfortable.

“I…you’re a skeleton…” you pointed out. He feeling his cheekbones flush tangerine. “And you can blush…” You added, now sounding incredulous. “A skeleton was trying to convince me not to die…that’s… _ironic_ …”

“I never really got that.” He admitted. “Why is death always a skeleton?”

You paused, a smile creeping up. “I don’t know either.” you pondered. “Ever tried looking it up?”

“Nope.” He answered, popping the ‘p’.

Silence. You seemed to be struggling to say something.

“I never expected you to come.” You said. Papyrus nodded slightly, looking down and twiddling his fingers. “If I jump…you’re just going to stop me aren’t you?” There was a bitter curl to your mouth.

“I don’t want you to die.” He explained. You leaned back, supporting your weight with your hands. He tensed, expecting you to just drop yourself over.

“We just met.” You pointed out. Papyrus tugged his sleeves down.

“Well, I told you my name. How about yours.” You raised a brow at his request, but you gave him your name reluctantly. “Great, now we’re acquainted and I know you to an extent. Now can I say that I don’t want you to die?”

“Maybe.” You finally said after what seemed to be an hour long contemplation of tapping your chin with your finger and glancing up a little.

“Booo!” he pouted.

You were laughing. You kept laughing. You were laughing till your body convulsed and the giggles morphed into sobs. Papyrus scooted a little closer and patted your back. You leaned into him, grabbing the fabric of his hoodie and burying your head into the soft fabric. He tensed a little, bones frozen while his mind scattered trying to piece together what to do.

“I’m…going to hug you back. Will you mind?” he asked first.

“No.” was the strained, muffled reply. Papyrus wrapped his arms around you and hunched over, resting his mandible on your head. He rocked back and forth a little, hoping this kight help. Sometimes Sans would have worse of days as well and he’d always try this on him. It would usually work.

He guessed it worked with you when your muscles went slack and you wailed even louder into his hoodie. “I’m here, okay?” he soothed, voice dropping to a comforting whisper. “I’m right here. Just let it out. Let it all out.”

He breathed in, bones suddenly tired and weary.

But he felt relieved.

**Author's Note:**

> Phew, okay! This…happened. I’m not exactly proud of it since Blayze is both stupidly easy and stupidly hard to write. But yeah, here it is! Now, I should have mentioned this earlier, but this take on Underswap is based off of my own headcanons on it. I’m sorry if I upset some of you.
> 
> [Come visit my Tumblr!](https://ainescribe.tumblr.com/)


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